If your jeans are too tight, chances are you are going to feel miserable. If your shoes don’t fit, every step can be painful. Since I’m getting married in May, I’ve been to a lot of fittings for loved ones in my life. The suits and the dress needed some alterations to get to a true fit. We want the “just right” to feel and look better. It’s not just clothes – humans desire true fit in all areas of their life, yet it’s much harder to pinpoint what that is when it’s anything other than clothes – primarily relationships and careers.

Yes, some people are better at noticing those physical sensations that tell us, “this isn’t working”. A tight chest, a sick stomach, tense muscles, a headache – all signs our body is saying we are in distress because of a wrong fit. If we check in with our emotions and connect the dots, we can see that sadness, boredom, anxiety – and conversely happiness and peace and joy, can tell us when we are in our comfort zone. This is ultimately why I talk so much about personality types and leadership training because we are never done dealing with people – are we? I mean, I hope not. Simply cutting off people entirely is a pretty lonely strategy. It’s knowing when to cut the rope, when to give things some slack, and when to tighten the reins that enables us to manage our lives better.

Last month I joined a CORE group with Mickie Lara and Giant Worldwide which world to build leaders worth following. They do that by focusing on true fit and “knowing yourself to lead yourself” which is key before you can lead anyone else. Not only did I find that my tested personality type was off (ENTJ) – my true fit is a ENTP and that one letter difference was a biggie. I have learned to operate in the world as a “J” to get things done as a mom and entrepreneur, but I am not a CEO-type like ENTJs – I’m a creative independent thinker and innovator who prefers the next big idea over the status quo and I am always juggling passions because my restless mind cannot stop thinking of how to make a room or a brand or the world in general, better. Better is just better. I see problems (or bad fits!) and come up with ways to fix them. I get how this can be a problem for dealing with day-to-day situations and relationships. So I’m working on that, too.

My point is to question what’s going on and dig deeper and see what ‘feels’ right, not just what ‘sounds’ right – or what you WISH TO BE SO. Take the test, sure, but I’d encourage you to watch all of the videos and listen to the podcasts Giant provides as well for deeper insight into what your true fit could be and then of course how to get along better in the world. I’m looking forward to meeting on of the co-founders, Steve, who is also a ENTP and learning more about the 5 Voices. It’s interesting to see your loved ones realize their true fit as well. My alma mater ended up not being a fit for my son, so he transferred schools and likes it better. A big decision, but that’s what we are charged to do as CEOs of our life – to make the choices that fit and lead us to better.

I’ve had the mermaid theme on this blog (and a book I haven’t finished writing) about mermaids who are strong women who dive deep for their dreams. I’m thrilled that I have found a school of mermaids in a co-working space The Collective who I have collaborated with the last six months, and that includes creating a networking group of mermaid-types we are calling Chicks in Charge. Our first event is an egg hunt and spring party at Patriarch April 9th so if you are reading this in Oklahoma, be sure and buy a ticket and let’s connect. If you are reading this from afar, I encourage you to find fellow mermaids you can swim with – mermaids who let you be you.

As a future-oriented thinker, I tend to believe the future is always bright (because I’ll make it so), but honest-to-God the present moment is pretty bright, too. I have a lot to say about planning a mid-life wedding – and starting over in general – which I’ll share in the future, I’m sure. It is so so good to find a true fit in a partner and in the world.

Here’s a few pics of life as of late. xoxo