a) out of my control
b) my personal feelings
c) feeling guilty when I shouldn’t
I think we all do it, but women seem to be Queen Bee Apologizers. Yes, yes, we should apologize if we’ve really hurt someone’s feelings or, say, stepped on someone’s toe. What I’m talking about is apologizing simply to save face, put the other person at ease because it’s uncomfortable, taking on the problems of the Universe when it’s none of our damn business and silently whipping ourselves that we’re not perfect.
Just…stop. I am.
Here’s the deal. If we’re going to Get Real (and this getting real stuff is really getting real in my life now) then we have to acknowledge that we need to step up into the power of who we are and stop trying to apologize for everything that doesn’t go right and MOSTLY stop apologizing for the life we need to lead. You are a unique gift to the world and you get one shot at this thing.
Don’t apologize because you switched your major.
Don’t apologize that dinner wasn’t Iron Chef worthy.
Don’t apologize that your feelings have changed.
Don’t apologize that something no longer works for you and you have to let it go.
Let. It. Go.
Deep breath. Where is this coming from?
It’s coming from deep inside you and if you listen you can hear it and you’ll just KNOW. You might have some fights with yourself. Your inner voice telling you one thing while your ego tells you another. Thing is, my ego is the one playing nice lately. It’s my inner voice that’s playing hard ball. My ego would apologize because I want you to like me and I don’t want to tarnish my image. I interviewed a former Marine for my new book and we briefly discussed meditation and how it’s helped guide us. I mentioned my get real theme for this year and how my ego is battling what my gut is guiding me. He said, “are you a people pleaser?” I always assumed I was too strong and independent to fit that label, but I answered truthfully, “I guess I have been.” It’s my Type A, overachieving, good girl persona. Ego wants the atta-girl and pat on the back.
My True Self says, “hands off. I’m going this way.”
So…what are you apologizing for?
If you’d like to try meditation, a good way to dip your toe in is taking part in Deepak and Oprah’s new 21-day challenge “finding your flow”. First week just ended and oh, lawdy, there were some great moments of clarity for me. It’s free and you can check it out here.
On the book front, I’m still doing interviews for my new fiction work in progress and have written 10K on my story. I actually had two great scenes come to me during meditation this past week. I think when you’re NOT thinking the good stuff has room to rise up. My goal is to take the train to Ft. Worth soon to write all the way there and back PLUS write in the hotel room. I’d love the have the first draft done in June.
On the wellness front, I’ve stuck to working out every day. I did a “new class” fitness challenge last week to make myself try Piloxing, Pilates and Body Pump. I do pilates at home but I’m a big believer in group classes because I think you work out harder so I’ll try to hit that class again when I can. It was my favorite but I’m glad I tried the others. I’m also a big convert to the stair machine. I’ve worked up to doing 22 flights then do treadmill and bike in the same workout. That’s major “leg” work but I add push ups and planks and will do more arms and abs the next day. I have SO MUCH ENERGY thanks to working out and clean eating (and getting ample sleep!) I’m NOT trying to lose any more weight, just tone and keep up cardio for feeling good. My advice is TRY IT, YOU MIGHT LIKE IT. 🙂 Move more, eat smart and lasso the moon.
Namaste and go kick some tail this week, loves.